Have you heard about the book The Four Agreements? The Four Agreements by Ruiz are amazing guidelines we can make use of to lead our lives, enhance our relationships, and maximize our happiness and well-being.
Listed here are Ruiz's The Four Agreements.
The First Agreement: Always be Impeccable With Your Word.
This translates to staying away from gossip, falsehoods, empty commitments and other actions we cause problems with our speech. Express only what you mean, and keep in mind that you can produce harm if you're not cautious with every remark you say.
This is a great prescription. Lots of people don't see the capability of their words and see the damage that can be created with speaking carelessly, mindlessly or forcefully. The majority of us are aware that yelling at someone may be distressing to them, but indirect little digs at them, or gossip behind their backs, can damage other folks more than we realize, and in injuring them, we damage ourselves.
The Second Agreement: Don't Take Anything Personally.
This 'agreement' covers finding out how other people's behaviors are a reflection of themselves only. Every time someone gives us comments about us, it's beneficial to keep in mind that no opinions are genuinely objective; we all have our biases, 'filters' through which we perceive the entire world, and the like. Because of this, we shouldn't take anyone else's opinion of us or our actions as entirely precise; when someone asserts a certain thing about us (or anything else), they're really saying something about themselves and how they view the world.
This is excellent tip for making us feel better, but take it with a grain of salt. While every individual has their biases and there is no such thing as complete objectivity, by never taking anything personally, people can really limit their ability to see their own unhelpful patterns and biased thinking, and work on developing more healthy patterns and clear-sighted views.
The Third Agreement: Don't Make Assumptions.
An awful lot of stress is created when people assume they are aware of what other individuals are thinking without checking with them. Recognizing that other people might have different motivations for their actions, even substantially varying world perceptions, and remembering to really try to understand others and talk about these motivations before going to conclusions about their behavior, can go a long way toward staying away from interpersonal conflict.
However, taking this advice to an extreme may cause people to pay no heed to their intuition with regards to people, or common sense regarding somebody's behavior that's damaging. It can also open people up to manipulation whenever they train themselves to believe someone's explanation of unhelpful behavior rather than judging the behavior on its own. (For example, not 'assuming' they're being cheated on if their lover is manifesting erratic behavior and the classic indicators of cheating, but vehemently denies wrongdoing.) This one is a useful suggestion, but should be tempered by common sense and inner wisdom.
The Fourth Agreement: Always Do Your Best.
By this, Ruiz means to offer the best you can at any given occasion, and you'll have no regrets. Some days, your best is not as good as other days, and that's fine. As long as you put honest effort into life, you won't have a thing to be ashamed of, and will never 'beat yourself up' over a less-than-stellar performance in retrospect.
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